Several months ago one of my best, good pals graciously became a paying Subscriber to my Substack. His generosity, however, came with a pair of conditions:

1. I write a review of the Disney animated classic Tarzan (for reasons that are still somewhat inscrutable to me, but it’s his money, amirite).

2. I revise my official ranking of Star Wars films so that Revenge of the Sith falls within the Top 5.

While the best I can do for that erratic, underwhelming conclusion to the so-called Prequel Trilogy is to place it no higher than Number 6 (at the very best), I’m more than happy to share my Thoughts™ on the final film of what is commonly referred to as the Disney Renaissance.

Is it my favorite Disney movie? No (you can find the answer to that question here). Is it the best movie from that particular period of Disney filmmaking? Also, no.

It is, however the last truly great Disney animated film.

There have been movies from the House of Mouse since Tarzan that I personally enjoy more (specifically, The Emperor’s New Groove and Frozen). However, they lack the epic nature, sweeping musical scores, and general joie de vivre of 90’s era Disney.

At any rate, I finally got around to watching the relevant film for the first time in years (decades, even) over the weekend, and my Thoughts™ are pretty much the same as they were the very first time my fourteen-year-old self saw it in theaters all the way back in 1999:

• Disney’s Tarzan rules.

That’s it.

That’s my review.

(Sorry it took so long, Pat - hope you got your money’s worth)

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After the disastrous (some might even say unprecedented, or generational) crash and burn of the once revered HBO series Game of Thrones, followed by a dreary slog through just the first half of the first season of House of the Dragon, I was certain my days frolicking through the Westerosi Cinematic Universe™ were finished for good. I do have a marginally higher regard for the books - despite the fact many of the most contentious aspects of the Game of Thrones’ finale came directly from George R. R. Martin’s outlines for the story (sorry, G.R.R.M. simps, but it’s the truth) - and I’ve always intended to finish reading the series (such as it is) at some unspecified future date.

Now, I’ve talked my fair share of trash about G.R.R.M. over the years, but I do think he is an objectively good writer. This is why the first four seasons of Game of Thrones are unquestionably the peak era of the show - they were mostly based on events from the books (mostly). Season Five, while still one of the better seasons, is when things started going off the rails somewhat: all those little departures from the source material were adding up and starting to become unwieldy; not to mention the fact that said source material was quickly running out.

While I think G.R.R.M. is a good writer, I also think he is ridiculously overrated. Much of his lore/worldbuilding is directly cribbed from the likes of Tad Williams’ Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn trilogy, or Michael Moorcock’s Elric novels. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wearing your influences on your sleeve (Lord knows I do it all the time in my own fiction writing), but G.R.R.M. gets all manner of praise heaped upon him that he, frankly, doesn’t really deserve.

It also doesn’t help my opinion of him that he’s quite obviously a miserable person. Martin is notoriously difficult to work with, he’s bizarrely adversarial with his own fans (who really just want him to deliver what he himself promised them), and he’s constantly throwing shade at his literary forebears - specifically one John Ronald Reuel Tolkien. I’m not going to get bogged down in the veritable quagmire of whether or not G.R.R.M. loves or hates Tolkien, but I will say it is abundantly clear that he is insanely jealous of the man, as well as the outsized influence ol’ J.R.R. continues to wield over the fantasy genre.

Getting back to the aforementioned Westerosi Cinematic Universe™, I share a similar opinion of the now infamous TV show based on Martin’s flagship literary series. It was (for the most part) objectively good television, but it was hardly, like, totally the greatest thing EVAR. I can think of several shows going off roughly around the same time that were better than Game of Thrones, even at its peak: the first season of HBO’s own True Detective, most of Dexter, Banshee, Breaking Bad, The Last Kingdom, and the first three seasons of Outlander were all superior; in my not-so-humble opinion.

Which brings us (at long last) to what I really want to discuss, which is A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms; the latest HBO offering to be based on yet another of G.R.R.M.’s unfinished works - the Tales of Dunk and Egg novellas.

I could not possibly have been less interested in this show when the hype train started rolling out for it. Heck, I didn’t even bother watching any of the trailers! Yet there I was, like the proverbial battered spouse who inexplicably keeps coming back for more, watching the first two episodes not long after they debuted.

Boy, was I pleasantly surprised, I tell you hwhat.

There is so much to like about this show. For starters A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms is a feast for the senses: the cinematography; the sharp, precise editing; the lyrical and enchanting score; and the costume design, which is easily the best of any fantasy series since the first few seasons of Game of Thrones itself (possibly even better). Seriously, the armor and costumes in A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms far outclass the laughable efforts of shows with bigger budgets such as The Witcher (the first two seasons of which I actually quite enjoyed), The Wheel of Time, and especially the execrable Rings of Power.

The acting and character work is also top-notch across the board. It is nothing short of remarkable how effectively (and efficiently) this colorful cast of characters is imbued with their own defining set personalities and motivations. Granted, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms isn’t exactly a sprawling epic that spans innumerable storylines like its predecessor, but the brevity of the story does nothing to diminish the admirable work done to establish sympathetic and believable characters, along with real and tragic stakes.

The Tales of Dunk and Egg are noteworthy among George R. R. Martin’s bibliography for not being as relentlessly grim and brutal compared to his best known works, and the same holds true for the television series. That being said, these characters still face some hard choices; where even the smallest and most seemingly insignificant decisions have far reaching consequences - which is a facet of G.R.R.M.’s work that I have always appreciated, if I’m being honest (except for those times when the good characters make excruciatingly dumb decisions because the plot demands that the bad characters absolutely must come out on top).

I do, of course, have a few minor quibbles:

• This is yet another fantasy show where supposedly Medieval European inspired characters casually speak in discordantly modern vernacular, complete with copious amounts of vulgarity.

• The gross out gags in the first couple of episodes are jarring and entirely unnecessary.

• The flashback that occupies a large chunk of the penultimate episode takes far too long to go anywhere, especially taking into account how short each episode’s runtime actually is.

• The showrunners did make some minor concessions to modern casting trends (IYKYK), but these are few and far between, and mostly in the background (mostly).

Overall, though, I’m delighted to say that A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms is a delectable and satisfying morsel of quality entertainment for those of us who have lately been so thoroughly starved of any such thing.

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It’s everyone’s favorite season; the one where we all write a bunch of content, studiously recounting everything that we enjoyed the most throughout the year. I already wrote one recap Post last week, and now I’m back with a second recap Post - albeit one that is vaguely from the POV of my adoring public. Just as I did around this time last year (give or take a week), I’m hacking out a concise rundown of my ten Posts from 2025 that were the most popular among my Followers and Subscribers.

It might seem a tad premature to be writing this in December’s early days, but my brain is in what I like to call Holiday Mode™, and it’s highly unlikely that I will produce anything worthy of recognition within the next three weeks. Even if such a wondrous occurrence were to come to pass, my engagement numbers seem to be in freefall (this is not self-pity, merely an observation), which means our hypothetical near-future Post would likely not even be eligible to appear here anyhow.

I was slightly more prolific this year than I was in 2024 - having written forty-six Posts compared to last year’s total of thirty-nine. Listed below are the ten Posts that Substack tells me you guys liked the most:

1. Brief Thoughts™ on the Murder of Charlie Kirk
   Unsurprisingly, the thing that got the most attention this year was my fiery reflection on Charlie Kirk’s senseless murder. At the time it seemed like this would be a paradigm shifting event: However, the odious machinations of our malignant political system continue on, undeterred and unabated.

2. Spike
   This flash fiction Western is loosely based around my colorful father-in-law’s personality and family history. The man is one of my most stalwart advocates, as well as being possibly my best, good pal (outside of Mrs. Has Thoughts - aka , whom I love most ardently).

3. Frankenstein; or, The Best Movie of 2025…
   Ostensibly, a review of Guillermo del Toro’s magnificent adaptation of Mary Shelley’s seminal science fiction novel, but really a diatribe against industry filmbros and their smug, relentless campaign to gaslight those of us who take issue with the pathetic state of modern cinema.

4. Adrift
   A 100 word Western that seems to have garnered admirers from all across the far-flung reaches of Substack, including none other than that most erudite of scholars - himself.

5. Ten Things (okay, five) I Hate About Troy
   I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with Wolfgang Petersen’s wildly inconsistent, vaguely historical interpretation of Homer’s Iliad. Click the link above to find out what exactly it is about that 2004 film that’s ground my gears for the last twenty years!

6. Valley of the Old Gods: Part 1
   As the title implies this is the beginning of a fantasy serial that’s inspired by Greek and Biblical mythology. Unfortunately, as so often seems to be the case with more than a few of my serials, I’ve been rather lax in keeping up with the story, which means it sits unfinished. At any rate, there are currently three parts to enjoy/build anticipation for future installments.

7. Mercenary
   A flash fiction fantasy story that was my second entry into ’s ambitious community writing project known as The Ynysfall Codex. This one ended up being slightly more popular than my first offering for that endeavor, which itself appears a bit further on down the list.

8. Rise of the Black Wolf
   Yet another flash fiction tale, this time inspired by one of the great ’s celebrated Flash Fiction Friday prompts, and featuring the infamous, enigmatic protagonist of what was last year’s second most popular Post.

9. The Wylde Hunt
   As mentioned above, this was my inaugural entry into the expansive and ominous fantasy world of The Ynysfall Codex. I’m partial to this story myself, but my faithful readers have definitively determined it was mildly inferior to its successor.

10. The Great Debate
    Our final entry on this austere and reverent tabulation is a somewhat playful 100 word story that was inspired by one of the most (in)consequential events to occur during my entire childhood.

    ---

Looking back it seems as though my pop culture ruminations and shorter, flash fiction tales ruled the day - which is a bit of a shame, as I wrote some fairly killer, proper short stories (if I do say so myself) that I wish could’ve garnered more attention.

But today’s ranking is all about what you guys enjoyed the most, and I’m eternally grateful for your support and readership. Let me know what Post of mine from this year is your favorite in the comments, especially if it’s one that doesn’t appear on the list above.

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Earlier in the year I wrote about several books that I thoroughly enjoyed throughout the first few months of 2025. Now that the end is near, I decided it was only appropriate to do the same for the back half of the year, as my rapacious reading habits continue apace.

Since the aforementioned Post from back in May, I’ve finished a grand total of eleven more books. Within this hallowed cyberspace are contained the novels I enjoyed reading the most during that time; listed, as before, in order of which they were read.

The Lost World - Michael Crichton (1995)

Between the blockbuster movie adaptation and its own merits as a taut thriller, Jurassic Park was such a runaway success for Michael Crichton that there was immense public pressure for him to write a sequel, something which he had never before (or since) done. While not as innovative as its trailblazing forebear, The Lost World nonetheless justifies its existence by being an entertaining, worthwhile follow up to one of the most popular science fiction novels of all time.

The Lions of Al-Rassan - Guy Gavriel Kay (1995)

Easily one of the best books, fantasy or otherwise, I’ve ever read. All of the characters are vividly realized; the plot and pace of the story is flawlessly executed, with shifting loyalties and engrossing political intrigue aplenty; and the ending is equal parts tragic and joyful. This is the sole GGK novel that I’ve read at this point in my life, but he is clearly a titan of the literary world (seriously, this book is so good it had me legitimately questioning if I should just give up on my own writing altogether).

I will be forever grateful to for insisting that I check out this towering work of fantasy fiction.

The Time of Contempt - Andrzej Sapkowski (2013)

I mostly enjoyed the previous novel in Sapkowski’s Witcher series, Blood of Elves (mostly), even if the story was somewhat rambling and shoddily constructed. Thankfully, the plot is much more focused and propulsive this time around; wrapping up in a satisfying manner, complete with world-shattering implications. The only real complaint I have is that Geralt - who is ostensibly the main character of this entire series - is almost totally absent from the final third of the book. While not as boring and unsympathetic as, say, Daenerys Targaryen from George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, Ciri is still less compelling than the titular Witcher.

The Dragonbone Chair - Tad Williams (1988)

Any respectable fan of fantasy fiction has likely heard of Tad Williams’ enduring classic. Likewise, that selfsame respectable fan has likely already read said novel well before their fortieth year of life. Alas, I was behind the times prior to this past summer. Having finally read this landmark story for myself, it’s not hard to understand why it’s been so influential among the fantasy crowd.

As with Lions of Al-Rassan above, every character in this book - even the seemingly inconsequential ones - possesses their own unique personality and motivations. The story unfolds at just the right pace to keep the plot moving along (without feeling rushed), with major revelations occurring at just the right intervals, and character development happening organically over the course of the journey. I’m honestly brimming with anticipation for the time when I can finish this series, and experience the end of the epic adventure for myself.

The Winter King - Bernard Cornwell (1995)

I actually managed to read every book of The Warlord Chronicles trilogy over the last couple of months, but - for the sake of fairness - I’m only including the inaugural book in the series here (though any one of the three could have easily made the list). I honestly can’t think of anyone better suited to the task of reworking the Arthurian legend to fit within a vague historical framework than Bernard Cornwell. The heroes are brave, noble, and gallant (even if they’re somewhat imperfect); the villains are layered, complex, and suitably detestable; the world is evocative, authentic, and grounded - yet somehow just as mystical as its fairytale counterpart.

Out of all of Cornwell’s books that I’ve read (this one, its two companions, and the first five novels of The Saxon Stories), I’d have to say The Winter King is probably my favorite.

Medicine Woman - (2025)

I don’t think it would be too presumptuous of me to say that Frank is a bit of a Substack chum of mine, so it is with great pleasure that I can definitively declare he absolutely killed it with his debut novel. Medicine Woman is a good, old fashioned adventure in the vein of Louis L’Amour, with Michael Crichton’s eye for detail and Ken Follett’s penchant for scheming, loathsome villains thrown in for good measure. In main character Levi Thurston, Frank has conjured up a stalwart, capable, and uniquely American hero that can proudly stand alongside other legendary frontiersmen, such as Hugh Glass and Davy Crockett.

One of my favorite sequences in the novel is when Levi first finds himself face-to-face with the novel’s titular medicine woman: Any mans who’s ever found himself head over heels for a member of the fairer sex can easily relate to Levi’s dogged interest in this mercurial female.

What I’m Currently Reading

• The Gravedigger’s Almanac by Oliver Pötzsch (better than The Hangman’s Daughter; not quite as good as his Black Musketeers series)

• In The Giant’s Shadow by (sorry, Dave, still haven’t finished this yet - my Kindle reading has suffered as a result of me getting back into physical reading)

High Priority List (New and Improved)

• Son of the Black Sword by Larry Correia

• A Dance With Dragons by G.R.R.M.

• Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

• The Aos Si’s Gift by

• The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King

• Ghost King by David Gemmell (read it years ago, but mildly interested in doing a re-read)

• The Stone of Farewell by Tad Williams

• Baptism of Fire by Andrzej Sapkowski

• Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

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Substack dot com plays host to a bizarrely militant cadre of filmbros; ones who get extremely defensive (and take it extremely personally) whenever they hear the slightest criticism on the absolutely pitiful state of modern cinema.

Their default response - every single time, almost without fail - is to rent their garments, gnash their teeth, and desperately plead: Bro, just watch more movies, bro. I promise, bro, if you actually watch the movies you’ll get it, bro. Cinema has never been better, bro.1 Please, bro, you just gotta watch the movies, bro. It’s at this point when they launch into a glassy-eyed recitation of all the films the Establishment Media Complex™ has decreed must be glazed into oblivion, which also happens to be about the time I respond with something along the lines of:

Listen, you guys, it’s not that I’m not watching new movies. I am watching them, and they’re crap (for the most part). And if I’m not watching them, then it’s because they look like crap (for the most part).

I don’t know that I can come up with an exhaustive list of every 2025 film that I’ve seen thus far, but here are the ones I can think of off the top of my head:

• The Electric State

• Nosferatu

• Superman

• Downtown Abbey: The Grand Finale

• Sinners

• Paddington in Peru

• Frankenstein

• Happy Gilmore 2

Out of these eight movies, two of them are just not very good (Nosferatu and Superman, neither of which I was able to muster the necessary fortitude to watch all the way through). The Electric State was bland and forgettable; while Sinners was decent enough, but suffers from a first hour that drags, as well as an entirely unnecessary third act subplot/showdown. Happy Gilmore 2 was entertaining, and often quite funny, but it’s overstuffed with celebrity cameos, and its deranged antics get old well before the end of its entirely unwarranted two hour runtime.

That leaves three movies that I could say I genuinely enjoyed. Three out of eight is roughly thirty percent, which means I only really liked a third of the new films for 2025 that I was even interested in watching in the first place.

I shudder to think how much lower that ratio would be if I were to subject myself to all the movies I have no desire whatsoever to watch.2

By now you’re probably asking yourself, But Josh, what does any of this have to do with “Frankenstein?” After all, I only clicked on this Post because I desperately wanted to read your Thoughts™ on it. Well, let me just say that it’s a pretty damn good movie: You should definitely go watch it if overwrought gothic drama is your thing.3

Mary Shelley’s seminal work of sci-fi horror is perfectly suited for Guillermo del Toro’s particular sensibilities, and he makes the most of the opportunity with his trademark brand of haunting visuals, creative violence, and lavish production values.

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I really tried with this one, you guys.

I genuinely gave it my best shot.

In the end, however, I couldn’t hack it out. The movie beat me: There was just too damn much cringe. I made it roughly 30-40 minutes through the 2(ish) hour runtime before my brain couldn’t take anymore abuse, and forced me to throw in the towel.

I’m talking, of course, about James Gunn’s appalling Superman reboot.

Disclaimer: Yes, I am what the chronically online crowd would refer to as a Snyder Bro - meaning that I generally enjoyed the so-called Snyderverse (internet shorthand for Zack Snyder’s theatrical vision for the D.C. Comics universe). That being said, those movies were far from perfect, and they most certainly had their fair share of shortcomings. Thus, let me never be accused of being a mindless, sycophantic simp.

Now that we’ve gotten that bit of awkwardness out of the way, let’s get back to the subject at hand.

I don’t know that I can adequately verbalize why I found this movie to be so repugnant, but I’m going to give it my best shot with a few bullet points:

• The visuals are atrocious. Seriously, the color grading on this film is apparently meant to evoke a junkie’s recollection of a frenetic acid trip. The cinematography, editing, and general direction are just as bad (if not worse). James Gunn was never the most skilled director to begin with, but his directorial choices here make Kevin Smith (IYKYK) look like Steven Spielberg by comparison. And don’t even get me started on the half-assed CGI, or the repulsive costumes these characters are saddled with.

• The dialogue is childish and cringe-inducing. Superman - who is a grown ass adult in his 30’s - effuses such infantile exclamations as What the hey? and Good golly! I understand Superman is supposed to be a do-gooder boy scout, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he should emote like the heretofore secret fourth member of the Three Stooges.

• There’s not a single likable person throughout this whole fiasco. Pretty much everyone (including Superman himself; who loses his cool at the drop of a hat) is written to be as loud, obnoxious, and annoying as humanly possible. This even extends to the dog, Krypto, who is possibly the worst offender present.

• James Gunn clearly has no respect for (or understanding of) these characters. Instead of being a tenacious (but likable) reporter, Lois Lane is just overbearing and catty. Superman is weak, ineffectual, and vaguely effeminate. The Kents (Superman’s adoptive parents) are portrayed as stereotypically dumb and unintelligible rednecks (despite the fact they’re from Kansas, which is - ya know - the Midwest).

I find it damn near impossible to believe there are people out there who genuinely enjoyed this movie. It is a failure by every metric that society has historically used to judge entertainment. But then, we live in a bizarre time for media and its accompanying criticism. The Entertainment Media Complex™ will relentlessly champion movies and TV shows (and so on and so forth and what have you) that are perceived to be damaging to people of a certain political persuasion - specifically a certain Orange Man - despite the fact these things are objectively terrible.

The Last Jedi was one such film (having been produced during the culture war tempest of Trump’s first term), and, seeing how members of the current presidential administration bizarrely took it upon themselves to denounce Superman at the time of its release, I can’t help feeling like that’s exactly what’s happening here: Orange Man bad, so bad movie automatically GOOD!

Maybe you think the fact that I only watched a third of the movie means my opinion on it isn’t worth crap. Well, I suppose you’re entitled to that viewpoint, but allow me to retort:

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I don’t know that I’ve ever explicitly written about politics on here before.

That’s not because I’m uninterested in the subject, or because I’m afraid to speak my mind: Indeed, anyone who’s been paying attention can easily tell on which side of the political divide I exist. My main priority has always been to entertain and amuse, whether that be with hard-hitting thinkpieces about pop culture, or by honing my fictional storytelling skills. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to say a few words on yesterday’s (September 10, 2025) gruesome and wicked murder of conservative talking head, Charlie Kirk.

So, if you’re usually here for either of the two things mentioned above, then feel free to click away and move on with your day; because this is going to be heavy and serious, and some of you may not have the stomach for it.

Let me start by saying that I was not much of a fan of Charlie Kirk. I thought he was overrated, overhyped, and a fairly milquetoast figure within the conservative movement of American politics. What I did appreciate about him, however, is that he seemed like a genuinely nice guy - one who was enthusiastic in sharing his Christian faith with others, as well as someone who endeavored to foster civil conversation and reasonable dialogue across the political divide.

Charlie Kirk wasn’t pretentious and up his own ass like Ben Shapiro, nor was he as smug and condescending as Matt Walsh: Hell, he never even attempted to be as playfully highbrow and intellectual as Michael Knowles’ online persona. He was just a normal guy - with generally uncontroversial and mainstream political opinions from five or ten years ago - trying to find common ground with his ideological opponents.

And they killed him for it.

Charlie Kirk was publicly executed for all the world to see.

I couldn’t say for sure whether his wife and young children were at the rally to personally witness his murder, but I fervently hope they were spared that grotesque spectacle at the very least.

To anyone celebrating Charlie Kirk’s assassination (and don’t any of you charge into my comments like the naïve, useful idiots you are and claim it’s not happening, because I have personally witnessed it with my own eyes), I want to tell you that you are my enemy, and I adamantly refuse to share a country with you. I will do everything within my power to stamp your murderous ideology out of existence. You are a bloodthirsty, demon oppressed ghoul. Also, if you claim to be a follower of Christ and you’re making excuses for why he just might have had it coming, you are a spineless, cowardly heretic: I would strongly advise you to rethink your position with Jesus before your time on Earth is up.

I don’t really have a whole lot else to say besides that. I might lose Followers and Subscribers and all manner of other acquaintances over this, but that’s the very least of my concerns.

It’s long past time for us all to take a stand against the widespread and mainstream tolerance of abject evil that’s been allowed to permeate every aspect of our depraved society.

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Mrs. Has Thoughts (AKA …whom I love most ardently) took me to get a library card this weekend.

This may not seem like it should be a big deal when you’re a forty year old man, and you’ve seen things your younger self wouldn’t believe. Still, I’m just as thrilled by the prospect at this point in my life as I’m sure I was back in those elementary school days all those years ago. I’ve certainly got a fairly sizable collection at home, but there are always more (so many more) books to read than I could ever hope to fit within the limited confines of the homestead (or the budget, to be quite honest).

Which is where the library enters the narrative.

Some of the best memories of my youth transpired specifically because of unfettered access to stories beyond counting that such a place provides. As I’m sure many of you can relate, the local libraries had summer reading challenges - wherein you’d get greater and greater rewards the longer your reading list grew during those sunny and languid months; free from the inconsiderate impositions the school year was keen to inflict upon us. My family and I took in many a minor league baseball game (of what is now the Single-A farm team for the Washington Nationals), and enjoyed countless morsels of delicious food for free because, back in those days, I did nothing but read, read, read.

I had no idea epic, heroic fantasy was going to be my jam (despite the fact I read The Chronicles of Narnia when I was eight) until I procured (and devoured) from the library the best works of David Eddings - The Belgariad, The Mallorean, The Elenium, and The Tamuli - at the insistent urging of longtime pal (and now fellow Substacker), . One of the books I remember thoroughly enjoying was an obscure fantasy novel called Knight’s Wyrd. I have no idea who wrote it (though a quick Google search could fix that…but I digress), nor do I explicitly remember what it was about this book I found so engrossing: I just know that I thought it was great.

Those were also the days before the Star Wars prequels infamously took the world by storm. All us diehards had available to us to feed our insatiable hunger for more bombastic adventures in that galaxy far, far way was the vast collection of Expanded Universe novels; of which I’ve consumed more than my fair share. To wit: I was so utterly obsessed with those books that my mom eventually felt it was her parental duty to stop me from reading any more of them for a brief period of time. I don’t begrudge her for this, by the way - she simply wanted me to expand my literary horizons.

Around the time that I got my driver’s license, and I began to cruise the streets of my hometown unsupervised, I was overjoyed to discover the rather respectable assortment of CDs the library had to offer. Having all that music at my disposable led to me falling in love with the likes of Metallica, Tool, and Alice in Chains (still my all time favorite band to this day).

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to drop a deep, thought-provoking wisdom for you all to ruminate on. Honestly, though, I’m just immensely pleased to have finally obtained another library card - which, I grant you, is something that was always allowed - and I’ve already started compiling a mental list of books to chase down among the innumerable stacks when such opportunities present themselves.

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As the subheading would suggest, this Post is a bit of an off the cuff response to the New York Times’ (now) infamous list of the 100 Best Movies of the 21st Century. The other reason I’m blasting this out (without much forethought) is to challenge ’s contention that 100 great movies haven’t been produced in the last 25 years.

So, in no particular order (and entirely off the top of my head), here are 100 films that are personal favorites of mine from the last quarter century:

• Gladiator

• Minority Report

• Black Hawk Down

• The Dark Knight

• Batman Begins

• Hell or High Water

• O Brother, Where Art Thou?

• No Country for Old Men

• True Grit

• Kingdom of Heaven

• Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

• Eurotrip

• Brotherhood of the Wolf

• Sicario

• Blade Runner 2049

• The Revenant

• 300

• Dawn of the Dead

• 3:10 to Yuma

• Logan

• Ford v Ferrari

• Collateral

• Captain America: The Winter Soldier

• The Avengers

• Guardians of the Galaxy

• X2

• X-Men: Days of Future Past

• A History of Violence (replaces Spy Game)

• Drive

• The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

• The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

• Death at a Funeral (replaces Stardust)

• Layer Cake

• Kingsman: The Secret Service

• Kick-Ass

• Man of Steel

• Snatch

• The Emperor's New Groove (replaces Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows)

• RocknRolla

• Casino Royale

• Skyfall

• Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation

• Mission: Impossible Fallout

• Inception

• Memento

• Pan’s Labyrinth

• Gangs of New York

• The Departed

• Sin City

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall

• Finding Nemo

• Watchmen

• V for Vendetta

• Mad Max: Fury Road

• Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood

• Kill Bill: Vol. 1

• Kill Bill: Vol. 2

• Inglourious Basterds

• The Nice Guys

• Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

• Serenity

• Once Upon a Time in Mexico

• Spider-Man

• Spider-Man 2

• Old School

• Wedding Crashers

• The Patriot (replaces Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)

• Ocean’s Eleven

• The Hurt Locker

• Brick

• Looper

• The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

• Road to Perdition (replaces There Will Be Blood)

• Meet the Parents

• Tropic Thunder

• Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

• Fury

• Frozen

• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

• Elf

• 50 First Dates

• American Gangster

• Zoolander

• Centurion

• Eastern Promises (replaces London Boulevard)

• In Bruges

• Big Trouble

• Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

• Seven Psychopaths

• From Hell

• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

• The Town

• Mud

• Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

• The Bourne Identity

• Edge of Tomorrow

• The Last Samurai

• Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Once again, this is far from an exhaustive list: I’m mostly just jotting these down as I think of them (mostly). And, of course, this is all entirely subjective, so please spare me any unhinged rants about how I’m an ignorant, uncultured dumb dumb.

That being said, I would love for anyone who reads this to chime in with some of their favorite movies from the inaugural 25 years of the 21st century.

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It’s Wednesday - typically the midpoint of the five business days - but this is a holiday week (yay), which means it’s a shortened stint at the hostage situation. Don’t get me wrong: I mostly enjoy my job (mostly), but some days you’re just done with before they’ve even really begun, even when nothing’s really gone awry.

Who knows why.

Maybe there really is something to that ancient waking up on the wrong side of the bed wisdom (despite the fact you always fall asleep/wake up on the exact same side). Maybe it’s something you’ve watched - or heard - that’s wormed its way into your subconscious, and is whispering bittersweet nothings into your gray matter. Maybe it’s the off-putting manner in which somebody somewhere said something that you just can’t shake.

Whatever the reason could possibly be, today happens to be one of those days for me.

I should be hard at work: focused on the grind. Instead, I’m fixated on Notes - marveling at the sheer, willful stupidity of the average keyboard warrior (insert latest hivemind approved buzzwords about dRuMpF and fAsCiSm and aUtHoRiTaRiAniSm here) - while the wheels in my head slowly wobble along on grinding gears, plumbing the dark and remote recesses of my imagination for anything that will inspire me to hack out at least one of the stories I’m so desperately keen to write.

These are the days when I like to escape the office for a few, fleeting moments to be alone with my Thoughts™.

You see, I live just outside of a quaint, historic city on the Intracoastal Waterway, and the scenery is second to none. Palatial, antebellum houses reside on one side of the road, while - opposite their grand facades - a glistening river courses along; interspersed with atolls of rippling marsh grass and stately live oaks that are older than the town itself.

It’s quite a panorama to immerse yourself in: provided you can ignore all the oblivious, self-involved natives.

Adding to the picturesque atmosphere is a charming café that lies just outside the hustle and bustle of the historic downtown, where one can take in the arresting view while chugging a halfway decent cup of coffee, or munching on a delectable pastry. It’s certainly not my favorite coffeehouse around, but it is probably my favorite place to retreat to when I need a few minutes away from office life for a reset.

Take it from me: Small-town Southern living ain’t always all it’s cracked up to be, but it’s hard to deny the pleasure of a refreshing breeze off the river that ruffles your hair while you watch boats glide along the sparkling surface of the water and sip on a luscious, caffeinated beverage.

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There was a time, in the distant past, when I was quite the voracious reader - capable of devouring a 400+ page novel in about two days. I have always loved books and reading, but my enthusiasm has definitely waned somewhat over the decades. At my lowest point I’m pretty sure I was reading no more than one or two books a year.

It seems, however, that I’ve spent the last couple of years slowly coming out of my self-imposed drought, as I find myself once again with an insatiable desire to read, read, read. To wit: I had the realization just the other day that I’ve already finished more books halfway through 2025 than I did throughout the entirety of 2024 (which itself was a banner year for me, having read a grand total of five or six novels). If I can keep up my current pace, I’ll likely end up reading somewhere between ten and twenty books this year.

I’m not entirely sure what’s sparked this sudden resurgence of my long-lost, inner bookworm. What I do know is that the usual pastimes of playing video games and watching TV are mildly less appealing with each passing day, so books are once again becoming my hobby of choice.

So, with all that preamble out of the way, let’s get to the point of this Post: Out of the seven books I’ve read thus far in 2025, the ones below are my favorites. It’s important to note these chosen few are listed in the order that I finished them - not most favorite to least favorite, or vice versa.

Ravenheart - David Gemmell (2001)

It’s no secret that David Gemmell is my favorite fantasy author. That being said, there are still several novels of his floating around out there that I’ve yet to read, and I made it my mission near the end of last year to finally finish his Celtic flavored Rigante novels. While this third book (out of four) is not my favorite in the series - that would be Midnight Falcon, which I read in 2024 - it nevertheless perfectly captures everything that Gemmell does best: swashbuckling and colorful heroes, villains that are equal parts tragic and loathsome, doomed romance, and bone-crunching action.

The Highwayman Kennedy Thornwick - (2024)

I’m not sure that I could definitively say this is the coolest ever title for a novel, but it’s certainly in the running. Even if it possessed a lesser moniker, this is still one of the best books I’ve read in years. The characters in this irreverent, rollicking tale are so vivid and well-defined that I was constantly startled when the dynamic prose reminded me this story is written in the third person, rather than the first person perspective I inevitably found myself visualizing. The effortless manner in which this seamless verisimilitude is achieved should be the subject of much scholarly debate in the years to come.

I’ve no idea if Ms. Kuznak would ever be inclined to write a sequel, but I would certainly be inclined to frolic along with these lively characters as they embark upon further misadventures.

The Virtues of War - Steven Pressfield (2004)

In my estimation, nobody inhabits the ancient world and its complicated, fabled warriors better than Steven Pressfield. The Virtues of War is no exception. Chronicled by none other than Alexander the Great - contending with his army’s mutiny during an arduous campaign through India - the sweeping narrative recounts the awe-inspiring achievements of a legendary figure’s storied existence. Epic in scope, yet intensely personal at the same time, this is undoubtedly one of the finest historical fiction novels by one of the genre’s finest authors.

Fun fact: Steven Pressfield and David Gemmell are (were?) fans of each other’s stories.

Jurassic Park - Michael Crichton (1990)

Michael Crichton has long been one of my favorite authors, so it would be reasonable to assume that I’d long ago read what is arguably his most popular book, right?

Wrong.

It was only at the urging of a fellow Substacker (he knows who he is) that I finally made reading Jurassic Park a priority, and I’m sure glad that I did. The first half of the novel is an exercise in nail-biting suspense, as the stakes are clearly laid out, and all the pieces are meticulously put into place; while the intense second half is a series of breathless and terrifying encounters when the characters must contend with the horrors of modern science (hmm…). Put simply, if you’re a fan of the seemingly incessant parade of Jurassic Park movies, you owe it to yourself to read the book that started it all.

What I’m Currently Reading

• The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay (many thanks for this recommendation, )

• In the Giant’s Shadow by (one of Substack’s finest)

High Priority List

• Medicine Woman by

• The Dragonbone Chair by Tad Williams

• Son of the Black Sword by Larry Correia

• A Dance With Dragons by G.R.R.M. (spare me the sarcastic comments: I’ve read the rest of the series, and it’s long past time to finish it out, as it were)

• The Time of Contempt by Andrzej Sapkowski

• Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

• The Burning Land by Bernard Cornwell

• The Aos Si’s Gift by

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Previously on Josh Tatter Has Thoughts™, I shared ten of my favorite songs from this last ten years of my life. Since I am almost as much of a fanatic for movies as I am for music, I decided I should retread familiar ground with a similar listing regarding my ten favorite films from within that same time period.

This litany will be a bit more exhaustive, as the pickings are even more slim for genuinely good movies over the last ten years than they were for songs. You will likely notice an inordinate number of selections from 2015: That seems to be the last year before the film industry really fell off the proverbial cliff.

Finally, as tends to be the case where I’m involved, the following movies are not necessarily listed out in any specific order.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Directed by Denis Villeneuve

A truly worthy successor to the 1982 classic, and, at least for me, the best science fiction film since Steven Spielberg’s Minority Report in 2002.

The Revenant (2015)

Directed by Alejandro G. Iñárritu

One of the most achingly beautiful movies ever filmed, it is my not-so-humble opinion that this is arguably the very best movie of the 2010’s.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Directed by George Miller

Utterly chaotic and insane from start to finish, and possibly the greatest action flick of all time. A truly singular cinematic experience.

Hell or High Water (2016)

Directed by David Mackenzie

A taut and thrilling neo-Western in the vein of Cormac McCarthy from the ever prolific Taylor Sheridan, with career best performances from the likes of Chris Pine and Ben Foster. Jeff Bridges isn’t too shabby either.

Focus (2015)

Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa

Movies about thieves and con men are a dime a dozen, but Focus dazzles with heartfelt humor and sizzling sex appeal between its two leads (Will Smith and Margot Robbie). In my estimation, the best crime film Michael Mann never directed.

Logan (2017)

Directed by James Mangold

Not just a great comic book film - overflowing with bone-crunching action and a poignant, heart-rending conclusion - but a great film period.

The Last Duel (2021)

Directed by Ridley Scott

I’ve written ad nauseum (here and here) about Ridley Scott’s repeated misfires in recent years, but The Last Duel is a notable exception. Despite the film’s overtly misandrist bent, it is nonetheless an engaging historical drama, complete with Scott’s penchant for sumptuous visual storytelling.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

Directed by Guy Ritchie

If nothing else, this movie proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that Henry Cavill was born to play James Bond. However, it doesn’t hurt that The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is also slick, gorgeous, and frequently hysterical in its clandestine hijinks.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015)

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

Out of all the Mission: Impossible films, Rogue Nation strikes the best balance between thrilling set pieces and the tangled web of international espionage. This is the movie (for me) where Ethan Hunt surpassed James Bond as cinema’s premiere superspy.

Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood (2019)

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Both Django Unchained and The Hateful Eight were mildly disappointing films. At nearly three hours in length, both were - at various points - interminable slogs. While not significantly shorter at two hours and forty minutes, the important distinction with Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood is that it doesn’t feel like an almost three hour movie. The film glides along at a leisurely (though not sluggish) pace, all the while electrifying your senses with gorgeous cinematography and winsome interplay between its key players.

It’s important for me to note that several of these vaunted directors had multiple films to choose from. However, in the interests of a more varied selection, I limited my choices to one movie per director. At any rate, now that you know what I think, I want to hear from the rest of you. What are your picks for best movies of the last decade? What do you think should (or shouldn’t) be listed above?

Let me know in the comments.

Honorable Mentions (aka movies that could just as easily have made the cut):

• Sicario (2015)

• Ford v Ferrari (2019)

• Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)

• Dune/Dune: Part Two (2021/2024)

• The Martian (2015)

• The Gentlemen (2019)

• The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)

• The Nice Guys (2016)

• Storks (2016)

• Jurassic World (2015)

• Batman v. Superman (2016)

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Very soon (tomorrow) I’ll be leaving my 30’s behind and entering the fourth decade of my life. I still remember turning thirty like it was yesterday (it certainly feels like it was just yesterday). It’s astonishing how fast ten years goes by. It’s even more astonishing to think about all the things that have happened in those ten years, including (but not limited to):

• Getting married to the love of my life (, whom I love most ardently).

• Becoming a dad (10/10, would recommend).

• Leaving the only home I’ve ever known (Virginia) and striking out for parts unknown (coastal South Carolina).

However, I’m not here to wax poetic on the vagaries of aging, or (the significance of) the passage of time.

Anyone who’s been paying even mild attention knows how much I love music. However, as the quality of music over the years has degraded (it absolutely has…don’t let anyone gaslight you into believing otherwise), my enthusiasm for new music has similarly degraded (somewhat). That being said, I have discovered my fair share of excellent bands and tunes in between the trials and tribulations of modern life.

So, to celebrate this milestone of my existence, I thought I’d share with you, my faithful readers, ten of my favorite songs from the past ten years. This is not a definitive list, and they are in no particular order: I’m just throwing ‘em out there as they come to mind.

Moaning Lisa Smile - Wolf Alice (2015)

Favorite lyrics:

She needs a lover to escape her father and mother
She hopes for some other way out of the hole
She's over achieving, chasing her dreams
And coming down slowly, yeah, it's out of control

Sticky - The Maine (2021)

Favorite lyrics:

And I hear your name
In every single line
Of every single song I've ever heard
And I still feel the same

Loving Someone - The 1975 (2015)

Favorite lyrics:

Charlatan telepathy exploiting insecurity and praying on the purity
Of grief and its simplicity but I know that maybe I'm too skeptical
Even Guy Debord needed spectacles, you see
I'm the Greek economy of cashing intellectual cheques
And now I'm trying to progress, but instead of selling sex

Urantia - Deftones (2020)

Favorite lyrics:

I swear I'm losing it
With all these erased recordings, I'm rearranging parts

Shifts - Katatonia (2016)

Favorite lyrics:

Cast in a trench of fire
I can see the sky is a ceiling
And when my heart dies down
I am long gone
On the field of summer's green
Away from fall and famine

Your Body is a Weapon - The Wombats (2015)

Favorite lyrics:

And I wonder what you wear tonight
The shiny black dress with the slit at the thigh
Is this such fantasy that I should think
Someone like you could love a creep like me

Flagship - Jason Isbell (2015)

Favorite lyrics:

You gotta try and keep yourself naive
In spite of all the evidence believed
And volunteer to lose touch with the world
And focus on one solitary girl

Happy Song - Bring Me The Horizon (2015)

Favorite lyrics:

The world has coalesced
Into one giant mess of hate and unrest
So let's sing along a little goddamn louder
To a happy song and pretend it's all okay

Hourglass - A Perfect Circle (2018)

Favorite lyrics:

Aristocrat breaks down to
Timocrat breaks down to
Oligarch breaks down to
Republocrat breaks down to
No hope left in the hourglass

Dead Weight - Pvris (2020)

Favorite lyrics:

Look what you started
You're turning me heartless
I'm trying my hardest
If I'm being honest

Welp, that’s it, I guess.

Like I said before, this is by no means a definitive list, and I’m sure there will be other songs that I think of in the days to come. At any rate, I hope everyone reading this enjoys at least a few of these songs as much as I have over the last ten years. If you discover something new here that you’re just absolutely obsessed with, I’d love to hear about it.

I sincerely hope to see everyone back here in another ten years.

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I seem to spend a fair amount of my time on Substack talking about movies towards which I have mixed feelings.1 One of the first that I can remember causing me such consternation was Troy. I was a starry-eyed nineteen-year-old when it first released in the olden days of 2004, and I was already more or less intimately familiar with the details of the story, having read The Iliad in my youth (among other various and sundry iterations of the epic tale).

I’ve always viewed it as a mostly good movie, with some rather glaring flaws. After having recently watched the movie with Mrs. Has Thoughts (, whom I love most ardently) for the first time since we’ve been married, I wanted to highlight some of the more prominent nitpicks I have.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order:

1. The diminishment of Menelaus.

   My impression of Menelaus has always been that he was a noble man, and a good husband. In the movie, he is bizarrely neglectful of Helen, while being portrayed as essentially a clone of his callous and power hungry older brother, Agamemnon. Obviously, he would have been mad about his wife running off with another man. However, his desire to reclaim her had nothing to do with wanting to “kill her with my own two hands,” but rather because he genuinely loved Helen, her affront to his honor notwithstanding.

2. Hector, the Mope Master.

   Similar to Gandalf (among others) in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings film trilogy, the filmmakers decided to subvert a powerful and noble hero by transforming him into a nihilistic defeatist. Hector would rightly have been wary of the might of Achilles and the Greeks, but he absolutely should not have treated Troy’s (or his own) defeat as an inevitability. Sure, Achilles is a legendary warrior, but so is Hector: The two of them should have been more equally matched. It makes no sense whatsoever that Hector would go into his duel with Achilles expecting to die.

3. Achilles v Hector.

   A lot of people seem to love this fight sequence. I am not one of them. To me, it comes across as obviously fake and rehearsed, as well as being overly choreographed (a recurring issue with many of the battle scenes in this film). Achilles is way too dominant in this fight. Like I said before, Hector was a renowned warrior in his own right, and he should have been able to better hold his own. Yes, we all know he is fated to die, but a good storyteller can still create moments of uncertainty, even when the outcome is foreknown. There is none of that here: Hector barely puts up a fight, there is no nail-biting tension, and Achilles easily wins because that’s just what he’s supposed to do.

4. On second thought, let’s not use basic tactical prowess. ‘Tis is a silly idea.
   Even with Achilles at the helm, the Greeks conquer the beach of Troy far too easily. The Trojans halfheartedly shoot a few arrows, and then are slaughtered wholesale as they run away without putting up much of a fight. For their part, the Greeks march on the city without a single battering ram or siege engine, so I’m not entirely sure how Agamemnon was planning to breach the walls. And, speaking of walls, it makes no tactical sense whatsoever for the Trojans to array their forces outside the city, especially when they made such a big deal earlier on in the movie about how mighty and impregnable their walls are.

5. Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

   This one is more personal preference than anything else, but I strongly dislike how certain characters who should have lived are unceremoniously killed off (Menelaus and Agamemnon), while others who should have died are allowed to survive and thrive (Paris). Also, R.I.P. to mighty Ajax, who I’ve always thought should have been allowed to live past the first flippin’ battle, though I am somewhat mollified by the fact it took everything Hector had to fell the hulking hero.

These few quibbles aside, I have generally always enjoyed this movie. The roles are cast nearly to perfection (seriously, in the early 2000’s there was nobody better suited to play Paris than Orlando Bloom, and no better Achilles than Brad Pitt), James Horner’s score verges on the iconic, and the cinematography and visual storytelling is sumptuous, to say the least. In short, it’s always worth the occasional re-watch.

For anyone who’s never seen Troy - or if it’s been a spell - the Director’s Cut is the definitive version of the film, in my not-so-humble opinion.

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I have a confession to make: One that will surely earn me the scorn of fellow luminaries such as and .

I like the Ragetubers. You know the ones: Nerdrotic, Critical Drinker, Mauler, and others. I enjoy their shtick, agree with much of their commentary, and they make me laugh.

It’s certainly worth examining whether or not they add anything constructive to the discourse. And their incessant groaning over the state of all the things gets to be exhausting after a while (though it could be argued they wouldn't be doing all that grumbling if Hollywood wasn't so hellbent on churning out unrelenting slop). But, by and large, I am a fan.

Make of that what you will.

So (as famously says when he’s finally ready to make his point), it was with some trepidation that I approached watching The Electric State when my father-in-law decided he wanted to give it a try over the holiday weekend, after an interminable amount of wading through Netflix’s crushing surplus of bad decisions. After all, these aforementioned experts whose opinions I've rather dubiously put my faith in assured me that it was one of the absolute worst things ever to tarnish the TV’s comforting, silvery sheen. I was obviously expecting a complete dumpster fire. What I got instead was a middling, wannabe blockbuster that was juiced to the gills with the best special effects other people's money can buy.

Perhaps it’s because I only have a vague awareness of the source material - and had no expectations about any sort of fidelity - but I was pleasantly surprised to discover the film was just OK. Is it good? Yes and no. Is it bad? Also, yes and no.

Similar to 2023’s Napoleon, The Electric State is a movie from once vaunted directors (the Russo Brothers) whose recent output has come with increasingly diminished returns. Sure, they directed the second highest-grossing film of all time, but they also have not made a legitimately good movie in six years. Their last Netflix original, The Gray Man, was one of the absolute worst monstrosities I’ve ever had the misfortune of watching. And, like that ill-fated production, The Electric State is brimming with wasted potential.

There is a lot to like about this film: The visuals are often striking, the special effects are second to none (spared no expense, judging by the mind-bottling $320 million price tag), the action sequences are frenetic and compelling, and the cast is absolutely stacked. Stranger Things (astroturfed?) superstar Millie Bobby Brown has been mocked for her appearance as the world’s oldest teenager, but I personally thought she was moderately passable. Plus, there is never any explicit mention of her character’s age (though she is seemingly in high school).

The aforementioned cast is one of my biggest sources of frustration. I am a Chris Pratt fan. I firmly believe that he’s earned his notoriety. With a bit more surly gravitas, he could’ve been the true heir to the void left by Harrison Ford’s aging out. However, he’s just bleh here in The Electric State. His character is a poor man’s variant of his role as Star Lord in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, severely lacking any semblance of Pratt’s trademark panache and personality.

The inimitable Stanley Tucci suffers from a bland turn as the film’s main villain. It wouldn’t quite be a fair criticism to say he’s phoning it in, but it’s not terribly far off the mark. Giancarlo Esposito, another usually reliable villainous presence, fares a little better. At least his character has a modicum of an evolving story arc throughout the movie. Honestly, the most committed actor turns out to be Jason Alexander, with a bit part as a deadbeat riff on George Costanza.

Speaking of story, The Electric State lacks any sort of novelty in the way the plot unfolds. It simply regurgitates story beats from other (though not necessarily better) movies like I, Robot (okay, this one is definitely better) and Ready Player One (this one is not). Perhaps the filmmakers would’ve been wise to hew more closely to the source material, if indeed there are drastic deviations. Again, I’m mostly unfamiliar with the 2018 novel, so these are questions better left for someone more qualified to answer.

All this is to say that I really wanted to prove the Ragetubers wrong - even though I generally agree with them - and genuinely enjoy The Electric State. What I actually discovered, though, is that it’s a hard movie to hate, but it’s also hard to love.

As the ancient wisdom tells us, it just is.

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The Gratuity State

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As 2024 draws to a close (a most auspicious year if ever there was one), it’s time to look back on some of my more popular pieces written in the last twelve months. While I’m sure there are numerous other ‘stackers writing similar rundowns, ’s list was the first one I saw, so I’m crediting her as the trendsetter.

Out of the thirty-nine Posts that I’ve produced this year, the following are the undisputed Top Ten according to Substack’s popularity metrics:

1. The Camembert Conundrum

   An irreverent and cheesy (wink, wink) flash fiction story that is a particular favorite of mine. Currently the most popular Post on my ‘stack by a scant three Likes.

2. Dagger in the Dark

   A dark fantasy short story that is my second all time most popular Post. I’m a bit more ambivalent when it comes to this one, though my adoring public seems to enjoy the heck out of it.

3. Josh and the City

   In addition to being an amateur writer, I also sometimes moonlight as an amateur photographer. Marvel at this collection of smartphone induced snapshots as I traversed NYC this past June with my beloved Mrs. Has Thoughts (, whom I love most ardently).

4. Homebody

   One of my “Substack famous” 100 word short stories inspired by the vagaries of modern discourse when it comes to pop culture and politics.

5. The Half-Blood's Birthright

   A grimdark-ish short story set within the same fantasy universe as the aforementioned Dagger in the Dark. This is another story of mine that people seem to really enjoy, except me.

6. The Second Judge

   This flash fiction tale is my version of my favorite story in the Bible. If you’ve never read this gnarly passage for yourself, I’ve conveniently called out where you can find it at the bottom of the relevant Post.

7. The Colossal Shade

   Another flash fiction story, this was inspired by the fantasy option from Prompt Quest #1. It’s dark and violent (a common theme in my fiction writing, apparently), with some Lovecraftian horror thrown in for good measure. I was a bit unsure how I felt about this story when I first wrote it, but I made a few edits here and there that (I felt) were a definite improvement.

8. McBombshell

   Not only am I an amateur writer and an amateur photographer, but I’m also an uncompromising journalist who’s not afraid to speak truth to power, as I do here in this hard-hitting exposé.

9. Summertime Sins

   Chapter 2 of an ongoing serial that is being co-written with my beloved Mrs. Has Thoughts (, whom I love most ardently). Like before me, I’m a sucker for a good ephemeral/coming-of-age romance (especially of the beachy variety) and this is my attempt at writing one such story.

10. Gladiator II: Gladiatin' Boogaloo

    A scathing (if I do say so myself) review of one of the most unnecessary sequels in the long, sad history of unnecessary sequels.

That’s it: that’s the list. If you didn’t see your favorite Post from 2024 mentioned above, blame your fellow ‘stackers for lacking your refined taste. And, of course, share said thoughts in the comments below.

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Wonderful Christmastime Fund

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Last week, I read an article here on the ‘stack wherein the author contended that Ridley Scott’s Napoleon was the worst movie they’d ever seen (if I could remember who it was, I’d add a link). The timing was fortuitous considering I’d just found myself in possession of a trial week of Apple TV+, the streaming service on which Napoleon happens to reside.

I’d long been wanting to watch the film, unfavorable reviews be damned, so I decided to put this analysis to the test. I’m uncertain as to which version of the movie the aforementioned writer watched, but I went for the Director’s Cut since bigger is almost always better (I’m of the seemingly radical opinion that most movies could benefit from being longer). While I can confidently say that Napoleon is far from the worst movie I’ve ever seen, it is certainly among the most frustrating.

I mentioned in my review of Gladiator II that Ridley Scott is one of my favorite directors, but he seems to be losing his touch in his twilight years. Released almost exactly one year ago, Napoleon proved me both right and wrong. From a purely technical and directorial standpoint, this may be Ridley’s best work in years: even more so than The Last Duel.

His direction is simply masterful. The camera feasts our eyes on the painterly countryside, then guides us efficiently through the gilded halls of Napoleonic power, before finally transporting us to dilapidated remains of buildings and bombed out landscapes. Napoleon’s occupation of an eerily abandoned Moscow is an arrestingly haunting segment from beginning to end. The production design throughout is appropriately sumptuous and dazzling; something which has long been a hallmark of Ridley Scott’s films.

Another area where Napoleon more or less excels (and another Ridley Scott calling card) is in the battle sequences. Waterloo, in particular, is a cinematic clash for the ages. The film’s depiction of Austerlitz, on the other hand, is visually stunning, but feels scattershot: prioritizing spectacle and eye candy over any sort of attempt at fidelity to actual historical events.

However, for all its technical marvel and spellbinding scenery, Napoleon is frustratingly uneven. The film’s tone veers wildly from grave seriousness to slapstick, if not outright scorn, nearly anytime the man himself is onscreen. It’s downright mystifying how Napoleon, as depicted in this movie, was able to accomplish his greatest achievements.

He’s consistently portrayed as an awkward, almost autistic, weirdo with a litany of mommy issues who somehow lucks into becoming Emperor of the French. Much like his work on Gladiator II, David Scarpa’s woefully threadbare screenplay (on the flippin’ Director’s Cut, no less!) glosses over necessary details. Napoleon’s career steadily advances for no other reason than because the historical record says so.

The same can be said for Napoleon’s torrid romance with his beloved Joséphine. Aside from the fact that Vanessa Kirby and Joaquin Phoenix have almost zero chemistry (for his part, Phoenix is essentially sleepwalking through this role), these characters are unceremoniously saddled with each other because, again, that’s just what happened for real. At no point during their tumultuous marriage did I ever buy into the notion that these two were positively smitten. It isn’t until after Napoleon divorces Joséphine (she is presumably incapable of providing him with an heir) that any sort of affection between them is displayed. Their post-divorce rendezvouses are shot through with melancholy and regret; honestly some of the best scenes in the movie.

Supposedly, David Scarpa’s intention was to focus primarily on Napoleon and Joséphine’s relationship. This is a conceit that would’ve worked if he had committed to treating the man with any sort of respect, if not deference. However, as he does in Gladiator II (again), Scarpa’s only truly interested in denigrating those who came before him. His version of Napoleon is a bumbling (bordering on completely incompetent) buffoon who is entirely undeserving of the legacy which has been bestowed upon him. Most of the story elements throughout the movie simply don’t work when the main character, who is a well documented historical figure, is rendered with such disdain.

Contrary to my mysterious fellow Substacker’s assessment, I think Napoleon is a regrettably okay film that could’ve been great if it had come from the Ridley Scott of just ten years ago. As it stands, we’re left with a nearly four hour monument to wasted potential and screenwriting ineptitude.

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Watching the trailers that played prior to the start of Gladiator II, I found myself thinking, Do they really just not make good movies anymore? Every single preview was for a sequel, remake, or retread of some kind. And somehow, all three of these descriptors aptly applies to Gladiator II.

It goes without saying the original Gladiator pretty much had a flawless ending. Despite suffering a mortal wound, Maximus successfully kills Commodus and, satisfied with the knowledge that everyone is safe from the mad emperor’s retribution, contentedly joins his wife and son in the afterlife. Although we are sad that a great man met his demise, it is a poignant and gratifying finale: The villain is defeated, and the hero, his mission complete, is reunited with his family. Blissful and definitive, the story ends magnificently.

However, Gladiator made a lot of money, garnered a lot of accolades, and is an immensely popular film to this day. So, for nearly a quarter of a century, there was endless talk and speculation about making a sequel to a story that absolutely did not need to be continued. And, for the same nearly quarter century, rational heads prevailed, and no sequel was forthcoming. But modern Hollywood is utterly incapable of leaving well enough alone, and thus we (unfortunately) now have Gladiator II to contend with.

Hollywood these days is all about deconstructing their past glories. With very few exceptions, contrived continuations of beloved IPs undo everything our intrepid protagonists accomplished in their heretofore final outings. Our esteemed heroes were actually just miserable failures whose existences have stalled, or even regressed, in the intervening years. As the old saying goes:

Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to.

We see this pattern play out time and again in the Disney Star Wars films, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (which, I admit, I did somewhat enjoy), and countless other legacy sequels to well established franchises. And the same holds true for Gladiator II. Maximus’ sacrifice at the end of the first movie was essentially pointless: Rome is now in the grip of not one, but two foppish madmen.

How did things go so horribly wrong? What events transpired in the intervening years that allowed these demented dandies to come to power? We’re never told. It just is because the plot says so, which is de rigueur for the entire movie. There is no context or reasoning as to why events transpire as they do: Things just happen because the plot dictates that they must.

Speaking of plot, the only way possible to go into Gladiator II without spoilers is to have never seen the original film. Aside from the fate of its individual characters, the story (pretty much beat for beat) plays out exactly the same. And if you’ve ever seen a legacy sequel before, you’re well acquainted with the dismissive and disdainful manner in which established characters are treated in order to elevate the newer (and usually blander) protagonists.

Paul Mescal is wholly unworthy of being the successor to Russell Crowe’s masterful and riveting turn as Maximus. The twin emperors are pale imitations of Joaquin Phoenix’s petulant, deranged, and dangerous Commodus. Pedro Pascal’s character, who is supposed to be the sequel’s other stand-in for Maximus, barely registers; virtually a nonentity throughout the entire movie.

As for Denzel Washington, well, let’s just say Gladiator II confirms my long-held belief that the man is extremely overrated as an actor. He always plays some variation of the exact same character, which can work out just fine depending on the movie. But here, where he tones down his trademark bombastic histrionics, Denzel is just plain boring and lethargic.

Ridley Scott is one of my favorite directors. By and large, he continues to make movies I enjoy (despite the scorn said movies may receive from some of my more enlightened fellow cinephiles). That being said, Gladiator II is proof positive it’s time for the man to give it up. This movie is pointless, unnecessary, and unworthy of the legacy of its storied namesake and its legendary director.

There is absolutely no reason for this film to exist outside of modern Hollywood’s spiteful inclination to dismantle and deconstruct our pop culture icons.

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A wise man once said, “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.”

I’ve always acutely identified with this sentiment. It pretty much sums up my entire outlook on the vagaries of existence.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve perpetually had the damnedest time enjoying what I’m doing-or where I’m at-because I know that it will all be over sooner rather than later. Even as a kid, back when time seemed to drag and crawl and chug along at a glacial pace, the family vacations and fun times were over much too soon. You could almost say that I’ve always known when I was in the good old days before I actually left them.

I remember feeling this most keenly as a teenager. I was one of those weirdos who actually enjoyed high school. I loved the vibes and the optimism and the fresh knowledge and, most of all, hanging out with muh peeps.

Most people can’t wait to get out of high school, but not me: I never wanted it to end.

That’s not to say my teenage years weren’t fraught with the usual conundrums: overbearing parents, bad decisions leading to disastrous consequences, wallowing in hormonal angst, and so on and so forth and what have you. But there was also so much fun and excitement, and there was always a brand new experience right around the corner. There was the first time I drove by myself; the first time I saw an R-rated movie with my friends at the local multiplex; developing a keen interest in those beguiling members of the fairer sex.

And there was music.

Don’t get me wrong: The late 90’s and early 2000’s were not exactly halcyon days when it came to music. There was a metric ton of aural excrement, and, at the time, I hated most of it (however, my friend was a massive Limp Bizkit fan and their turn of the century output was the soundtrack to a great many of our shenanigans). Nowadays, though, I find myself appreciating many of the songs I once rejected more than ever before.

Is it because:

1. I’ve mellowed as I’ve gotten older, and I’m not as much of a snob as I was in my fiery youth?

2. Is it because that stuff was never actually all that bad to begin with?

3. Or is it because the music is intrinsically chained to the core of who I am and how I got here?

Instead of rejecting them outright, the nu metal song that used to grate on my nerves, or the pop punk anthem that I used to think was tacky and tasteless suddenly appeal to my once elitist faculties. I suspect the answer is a bit of all three, though that last option is doing a lot of the heavy lifting in this scenario.

I don’t really know what the point is in saying all of this. It’s not like my life sucks and I want to go back; although there was a time several years ago when I would’ve made that trade in a hot second. Sure, things could always be better, but I’m pretty satisfied with where I’m at: I’ve got a halfway decent job (in spite of all my past efforts to sabotage my future self), a pair of awesome kids, and an amazing wife who is so far out of my league that she might as well be from another galaxy.

I guess the point is that there doesn’t really need to be a point. Why else have a Substack if you don’t utilize it to just write whatever you want whenever you want? All I know is that I happened to listen to the two songs below while going about my fatherly duties last night, and a comforting wave of nostalgia mixed with melancholy memories washed over me in just the right way that I absolutely had to wax poetic about it.

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After tireless minutes, nay, hours even of dogged research, our stalwart and revered journalistic class uncovered a shocking truth: Donald Trump has never actually worked for McDonald’s, and his appearance at one of the storied American fast food joints over the weekend was really just a “campaign stunt.”

This startling revelation has caused the totally robust and definitely not fragile realities of literally dozens of people to shatter into oblivion as they were suddenly forced to question whether or not anything of what they knew about political campaigning was true.

Meanwhile, those with a moderately stable outlook on life, as well as a brain that is, at the very least, reasonably functional had the following reaction:

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