Episode 4: A New Post
The definitive ranking of Star Wars movies (according to me).
It’s almost impossible to imagine in this day and age where Star Wars is waiting around every corner, but there was a time when the Star Wars franchise was confined to three movies with a nonsensical numerical scheme, two so-so made-for-TV movies, a zany Christmas special, and an ever expanding literary universe consisting of mostly good books. I have been eating, breathing, and sleeping just about everything Star Wars since those halcyon days, so I thought what better way to utilize this writing space than to share my official ranking of all the main Star Wars movies from worst to best.
The Rise of Skywalker
Everything about The Rise of Skywalker reeks of desperation as J.J. Abrams and Co. frantically attempted to undo the catastrophic damage The Last Jedi wrought upon the franchise. I’m actually astonished that professional filmmakers could devise such a poorly constructed movie. It has possibly the worst editing and pacing I've ever seen as the film careens chaotically from one slapdash set piece to another. Even more so than The Last Jedi, Rise of Skywalker made it abundantly clear that Disney had no long term plans when they took over one of the most revered franchises on the planet and were simply making it up as they went along.
Attack of the Clones
I’ve always joked that watching Attack of the Clones is a physically painful endeavor for me. Hayden Christensen displays less charm and personality than a cardboard box, while the romance between Anakin and Padme, upon whose relationship the entire Skywalker saga hinges, isn’t the slightest bit passionate or believable. That being said, the speeder chase on Coruscant is a genuinely thrilling sequence and George Lucas does deserve some praise for his artistic direction of the climactic lightsaber battle between Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Count Dooku.
The Last Jedi
Prior to this movie, Rian Johnson was one of my favorite directors. The man had already directed three of the best movies of the 21st Century (Brick, The Brothers Bloom, Looper), so I had ample reason to be excited when it was decided he would pick up where J.J. Abrams left off. Granted, Abrams played it safe with The Force Awakens, but he clearly respected the established fandom and the source material. Johnson, on the other hand, opted to give the cinematic equivalent of a giant middle finger to longtime fans, and ran roughshod over the franchise’s legacy. It’s one thing for a filmmaker to subvert people’s expectations and deliver something far grander than they could’ve possibly imagined (something The Empire Strikes Back delivered in spades). It’s quite another thing to subvert expectations just for the sake of subverting expectations, meanwhile lecturing the audience as imbeciles for holding these movies and characters in such high esteem.
Revenge of the Sith
This was the movie us lifelong Star Wars fans had been waiting for. We were finally going to see the dramatic events that would cause Anakin Skywalker to fall and Darth Vader to rise in his place. Turns out he was passed over for a job promotion and he had a ten second bad dream. While hardly an origin story worthy of one of the most iconic villains in cinematic history, the movie still has plenty to offer. From the epic space battle that opens the movie to the tragic final showdown between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Revenge of the Sith has many memorable moments throughout.
The Phantom Menace
Like most people who were Star Wars fans long before the Prequels were thrust upon an unsuspecting public, The Phantom Menace was a major disappointment upon my initial viewing. Since then, however, my opinion of the movie has steadily improved. Of all the Prequel movies, The Phantom Menace requires the least amount of trimming to be remade into a genuinely good movie, namely removing anything to do with Jar-Jar Binks. The podracing sequence is exciting, Darth Maul is almost as iconic a villain as Darth Vader himself, and the final confrontation between Maul, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon is a showstopper. It is easily the best lightsaber duel in all of the Prequels, if not the entire franchise.
Rogue One
While a middling Star Wars movie, Rogue One is nevertheless an excellent film in its own right. Aside from the rushed beginning, as all the major characters are breathlessly introduced, the movie is consistently engaging and the action is explosive and riveting. Darth Vader’s terrifying rampage near the end is worth the price of admission alone. Ultimately, though, the movie is far too nihilistic to fit in comfortably with the rest of the franchise and the less said about the disturbing CGI face swapping, the better.
The Force Awakens
Much like he did with Star Trek, J.J. Abrams successfully revived another long dormant franchise for a new generation. And, much like he did with Star Trek: Into Darkness, Abrams leans a bit too heavily on nostalgia in this opening chapter of Disney era Star Wars. Pretty much every major story beat from A New Hope is rehashed. An orphaned protagonist unwittingly hiding out on a desert planet? Check. A planet sized death machine that threatens the entire galaxy? Check. A fanatical army of space Nazis (complete with an evil space wizard) that has been allowed to flourish under the neglectful eye of the Republic? Check. But you know what? It works. The Force Awakens is a nonstop thrill ride because, despite the film’s glaring flaws, J.J. Abrams understands Star Wars and he knows what makes that universe tick. While the next two films would completely squander its potential, The Force Awakens is always worth revisiting, if for no other reason than to dream about what could have been.
Solo
Of all the movies of the Disney era, Solo feels the most like classic Star Wars. Ron Howard successfully recreates the aesthetic of the Original Trilogy and delivers a rip-roaring adventure. Donald Glover is electric as Lando Calrissian and it’s easy to see how young Han Solo would be influenced by Woody Harrelson’s magnetic character, Tobias Beckett. Not everything in the film works, however, as the script turns Han into a sort of hapless blowhard (in the OT, he is introduced as selfish and somewhat cowardly, but nonetheless clever and capable) and the film’s PC elements threaten to derail the proceedings when Lando’s droid, L3-37, hints that the two have some sort of romantic relationship. These (and other) minor quibbles aside, Solo largely succeeds at delivering a fun, energetic romp that comes close to recapturing the magic of the Original Trilogy. The Darth Maul tease at the end isn’t too shabby either.
A New Hope
It’s hard to overstate just how dramatically A New Hope reshaped the cinematic landscape when it was first released back in 1977. Groundbreaking in every way, the OG Star Wars has influenced generations of filmmakers from Ridley Scott to James Cameron to Christopher Nolan and, along with Jaws, helped to usher in the era of blockbuster filmmaking. Even in this day and age, with all of its CGI wizardry, nothing compares to the awe-inspiring thrill of that iconic opening shot as a titanic Star Destroyer inexorably pursues Princess Leia’s ship or the nail-biting tension as the Rebels race through the Death Star trench. While the film does have a few shortcomings (the first hour or so drags and the franchise’s inaugural lightsaber duel between Vader and Obi-Wan is almost comically lame), A New Hope nonetheless stands eternal as a staggering achievement in the annals of filmmaking.
Return of the Jedi
My personal favorite of all the Star Wars films (and one of my top three favorite movies of all time), Return of the Jedi delivers an electrifying conclusion to the Original Trilogy. All of the story threads weaved throughout the two preceding films are wrapped up in rousing fashion as Luke Skywalker and the Rebels finally deliver a crippling defeat to the Galactic Empire. Granted, a do-over of the Death Star comes off as just a tad lazy on the part of the filmmakers, but it’s hard to complain too much when the results are this compelling.
The Empire Strikes Back
As if there could ever be a better Star Wars movie than this. The Empire Strikes Back is pure perfection from beginning to end. This is a movie held in such high esteem that its name is shorthand for anytime a media franchise of any sort wants to go dark. Few will forget the visceral shock of Darth Vader’s emphatic proclamation, “No, I am your father!” (unless you’re Anna Kendrick in Pitch Perfect casually pointing out that Vader is the German word for “father”) or the mystifying intrigue of Yoda’s revelation that “there is another.” Our heroes are forced into the grinder from the very beginning and the pressure never lets up. Meanwhile, Irvin Kershner’s dynamic and propulsive direction keeps the action moving along so briskly that it’s not until Luke Skywalker is desperately clinging for life in the dregs of Cloud City that we realize what a truly harrowing journey we’ve just experienced. By the time it’s all over, the Rebels are demoralized, but not defeated. And as we peer out among the stars with Luke and Leia, we feel a flicker of hope that they will ultimately emerge victorious.
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I love the prequels, I love the OT.
What you said to Michael about age seems right, I was 7 when The Phantom Menace released and loved most of it, the podracing was a bit dull when I was a kid but the rest was great. Whereas the Disney trilogy I find to be an incoherent mess of tone and story. Rogue One was decent, whereas Solo I found boring and unnecessary. I'd much rather have had Lucas's bizarro Journal of the Whills trilogy about the deep metaphysics of it all, alas we will never know.
Having just watched Return of the Jedi I have to say the pay off is worth it purely for the scene where Vader says "Your sister" and Luke goes balistic. The music, the cinematography, the acting, perfect everytime.
Good fun reading your thoughts and that ranking of Star Wars, much like the battle of light and dark, will go on for eternity 😂
Holy crap, I've never noticed that the stupid droid from Solo is literally named Leet.