In the faraway land of picturesque Fiddlebrook, there once lived a legendary fry cook. His burgers were juicy; his fries warm and crispy. His tenders were toasty, and his franks meaty and cozy.
Everyone adored this masterly fry cook of fair Fiddlebrook - his luscious grub was the talk of the town! He cooked for the rich, and he cooked for the poor: Wherever he cooked, they all wanted more, more, more!
Yes, all was grand in that fanciful land. The natives were contented and happy, with the talented fry cook filling their bellies in a manner most snappy.
And then, one dark and gloomy day, the joy of everyone was dashed when The Expert™ came to town. This vain and wretched crank hated all that brought delight to the people of favorable Fiddlebrook. The Expert™ had made it his mission to hear them abandon their bliss with cries of contrition. He took one bite of the fry cook’s fabled fare, made a sour face, and did declare:
“The burgers are bland; the fries slack and soggy! The tenders are tasteless, and the franks limp and boggy!”
Thus, the citizens of finicky Fiddlebrook began to wonder if they were wrong to delight in the fry cook’s mythical wares. After all, they nattered amongst themselves, we’ve never before had a professional around to tell us what’s wrong and more wrong! He is The Expert™ - it’s right there in his name! If he says the fry cook’s chow is bad, who are we to dare to declaim?!
It was then the fry cook could see that his edibles would no longer be accepted with the same relish and glee. He wiped clean the grease from his griddle; stowed away his trusty spatula, and boxed up his tasty vittles - proclaiming as he left town:
“Farewell, ye ungrateful lickspittles!”
And The Expert™ was smug, for he thought that he’d won: The joy of the people was all but undone. It was not long, however, before the ashamed citizens of penitent Fiddlebrook understood this Expert™ was naught but a fraud.
Yet that revelation came far too late, as their dearly departed fry cook was far gone abroad.
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Getting a much more classic feel from this than Doctor Seuss. (But, then, I'm biased against Doctor Seuss.) I can't put my finger on it...it has more the feel of stone of the much older and wiser tales. Something more like The Emperors New Clothes.
On a side note, sounds like he Didn'tSeasonHisFood™️. If only the people knew that The Expert™️ had long since cooked his tastebuds with an overabundance of sugar and capsaicin!
The people needn't worry, though. The Expert™️ will soon assure them that infinity Murderlandians will bring them dishes most delectible and flavors most desirable from the far corners of the Earth.
Marvellous!