I'm still liking this story, Josh, and I started nodding to myself as I read it, thinking: I remember this story. It's still a fun read. It's always great to edit something and see it take shape. I'm waiting for the next bits.
Really like the changes, Josh. I had the original version up on the laptop and this one on my phone to compare. The updates make for a much tighter read. There’s less wasted words and it just flows better. Also, the characters, and their interactions with each other, seem more natural and less scripted. And, remember, I still love the original so to have made it better is a great achievement. Well done 👏
I see definite notes of improvement here versus the older version. The pacing here's a bit more smooth, the setting feels more fleshed out, and the already strong banter between the characters feels even more natural now. I'm also noticing slightly stronger distinctions in tone between Everett, McTavish, and Pistol Pete than there were previously. A good step in the right direction.
My main goals are to shed elements of the original story that don't really make sense (a result of me making it up as I went along the first time around) and to allow the characters the space they need to develop more naturally.
Still love it. Better this time, it seems tighter, more polished, definitely an improvement. Bravo!
Thanks, man, I appreciate it. Your opinion means a lot 🙌
I'm still liking this story, Josh, and I started nodding to myself as I read it, thinking: I remember this story. It's still a fun read. It's always great to edit something and see it take shape. I'm waiting for the next bits.
Really like the changes, Josh. I had the original version up on the laptop and this one on my phone to compare. The updates make for a much tighter read. There’s less wasted words and it just flows better. Also, the characters, and their interactions with each other, seem more natural and less scripted. And, remember, I still love the original so to have made it better is a great achievement. Well done 👏
Thanks so much, Dan! I really value your insight, and I'm immensely grateful to you for taking the time to read and offer feedback 🙏
I see definite notes of improvement here versus the older version. The pacing here's a bit more smooth, the setting feels more fleshed out, and the already strong banter between the characters feels even more natural now. I'm also noticing slightly stronger distinctions in tone between Everett, McTavish, and Pistol Pete than there were previously. A good step in the right direction.
My main goals are to shed elements of the original story that don't really make sense (a result of me making it up as I went along the first time around) and to allow the characters the space they need to develop more naturally.