Off-Road Extremism
Escape from the Federal Bureau of BS.
Bow down before the one you serve
You're going to get what you deserve
Head Like a Hole, Nine Inch Nails
“They’re here, they’re here!”
“They’ve found us! They’ve found us!”
“Scatter! Scatter!”
The powerful six cylinder engine of the SUV roared as Logan Brooks floored the accelerator. All terrain tires wrestled against the muddy ground for traction, kicking up chunks of dirt and leaves. Gunshots echoed through the trees, and bullets slammed into majestic live oaks and mighty pines, their splintered remains ricocheting off Logan’s vehicle as it charged down the forest trail.
The staccato of gunfire ceased, and the fussy whine of electric powered motors intensified. A trio of cars with the letters FBBS painted on the doors crept closer in Logan’s rearview mirror, riding single file down the narrow track.
“This is the Federal Bureau of Biological Security!” A voice wavering with androgynous insecurity blared. “You are under arrest for failure to comply with the Compulsory Reliable Anatomical Protection Act of 2027! If you do not cease and desist immediately, we will be forced to neutralize you by any means necessary!”
Logan allowed himself a savage grin and eased off just enough to allow his pursuers to gain some more ground.
“Let’s light ‘em up, cowgirl!” He whooped. The touchscreen on the center console illuminated as the SUV’s computer acknowledged his command. The rear windshield slid open, disappearing into the hatchback, and a pair of submachine guns mounted in the trunk swiveled to life, their barrels protruding out of the opening.
“Confirm targets?” The computerized tenor of the vehicle’s virtual assistant questioned, using the backup camera to display Logan’s pursuers on the touchscreen.
“Confirmed!”
A deafening spray of automatic gunfire thundered from the twin SMGs. The lead pursuit car was instantly mangled by the sudden barrage. Its batteries exploded, and the flaming vehicular husk hurtled into the surrounding trees. Before the guns could acquire their next target, Logan jammed the brakes and jerked the steering wheel hard to the left as the dirt road doglegged. The SUV skidded in protest, but managed to right itself and avoid hurtling into the marsh below.
Logan’s immediate pursuer was not so lucky. He watched in the rearview mirror as the driver frantically tried to make the turn, but the car slid inexorably over the embankment and disintegrated as it rolled into a cluster of implacable live oaks.
“Hot damn!” Logan hollered, pounding his fist against the dash in exultation. His triumph was short lived, however, as the third car rounded the corner effortlessly, and gunshots once again rang out. Bullets ripped into the SUV’s cabin, shattering glass and shredding the interior. Logan yelped in dismay, and he swerved violently while shielding his eyes from the storm of shrapnel. Pure instinct caused him to slam on the brakes.
The pursuing vehicle collided into Logan with a jarring crunch. Both cars careened to a stop. Logan reached into the glove box for a .40 caliber pistol stored inside, twisted around in his seat, and unloaded all ten rounds into the automobile wedged against his rear bumper. Fountains of blood erupted, spattering the ruined windshield and plush interior. Logan ejected the empty magazine, reached back into the glove box for a spare, and rammed it home with a satisfying click. The rear driver-side door of the ravaged car slowly swung open.
Logan cautiously exited his SUV, pistol held at the ready, and approached the figure desperately crawling into the trees.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Logan asked in as casual a manner as he could muster. The federal agent rolled over to face Logan.
“What the hell is wrong with you people?” The man coughed, and blood sprayed from his mouth. “You can’t just violate government orders, or attack those of us who enforce them.”
“All we wanted was to live out here in peace, away from the tyranny you enforce.”
“It’s the law of the land. It’s for your own good.”
“See, that’s just it, though: I don’t need you fascists to tell me what is or what isn’t for my own good. I can figure that out all on my own.”
“We’re the experts. We’re the government. You have to do what we tell you,” the agent hacked once more, and more frothy blood spewed.
“I think you’ve got it all backwards, friend. And I aim to spend the rest of my days reminding everyone of that.” Logan sighted down his pistol and thumbed back the hammer. “By any means necessary.”
In the tranquil stillness that followed the thunderous report of the gunshot, the fussy whine of electric powered motors intensified.
Afterword: To enhance the impact of this story, listen to the song below after you read.
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Intense from beginning to end. The opening immediately had me hooked. Expertly written! Bravo!
(Looks over his shoulder to make sure that the FBBS isn't watching him.)
Hell yeah! Kick Ass!
Good piece. Based as hell.
Keep up the good work, Bro!